Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize