I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
