Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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