We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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