So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
