We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just threw up on my dentist
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize