Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize