im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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