nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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