can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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