He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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