he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
