she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
