I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Randomize
