i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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