I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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