He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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