i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
