Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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