just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize