dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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