i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
