god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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