Sry I called you an 8
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize