mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize