this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
