No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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