Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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