Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
