i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize