I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
