Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
