ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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