all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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