Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
