And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
