Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
