youre lurking in front of me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dicks are not precious.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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