meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
