Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize