Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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