How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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