4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
