I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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