I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She is in my trunk
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
