My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
