Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize