its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
