I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
PANTIES FOUND
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize