Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
