My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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