porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
