I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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