Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
